The Best Story I Will Ever Write

People who know me know that I have been writing stories for a very long time, my best friends know that I have been "making up stories" for even longer!

I am trying to become a professional writer. I am writing comic book stories everyday. I AM NOT DRAWING THEM!! (I leave that part to people who actually have skills)  You will understand why in a minute.

I am writing everyday now.

But since the sun is shining and softball season is almost here.  It got me thinking about the first "comic book" I ever wrote.

The first comic book I ever wrote took me almost a year to complete.  I wrote every word and I drew every picture. (The drawing by far took the longest)

So far only a handful of people have ever seen it or read it.

It is by far the greatest writing accomplishment of my life, and the story I am most proud of.

Here it is: "The Story of a Girl and a Boy"

This book was how I proposed to my wife Renee.

The ring was taped to the last page and when she got to that page, I got down on my knee and asked her to be my wife.

She said: "Thank You!"

I paused.

Waited a moment and another moment and finally she said "Yes".

I started writing "The Story of a Girl and a Boy" over 12 years ago this May.

At the time a comic book reading/skateboard riding/child care working/geek asked the prettiest girl he had ever seen out on a date to the "batting cages".

She said yes.

 Little do most people know, but that comic book reading/skateboard riding/child care working/geek started saving for an engagement "ring" his very next pay cheque.

I started putting the book together shortly after that.

Little over a year later we were married.

We have been together ever since.

She is still the prettiest thing I have ever seen.

PS: we still have our cat Mia.

Daughters first Hockey Games

So I am obviously a dad, and I try to incorporate sports into my daughters life as much as I can.

Up until recently my daughters sport interactions have been the following:

1) Her and I playing princess in the living room while the TV is on and daddy tries to catch peeks at the score in between the exploits of "Rapunzel" (her) and "Flynn Rider" (me). Other times she is "Izzy" and I am "Captain Hook" (from "Jake and the Neverland Pirates").

2) Coming to mommy and daddy's softball games where she gets "treats" (ice cream) in between games and digging in the dirt.

and

3) Daddy putting money in the swear jar because daddy cheers for really bad teams.

So I decided that since my daughter was 4 and a 1/2 now it was time for her first hockey game.   The tickets I get are on the lower bowl 8 rows from the glass, I am thinking there is no better seats to watch her first
game.

I thought it would be a great bonding experience and we could learn a lot about each other.

I ended up realizing two amazing things about my daughter last night.

Brynn and I dressed up for the game in our jerseys and headed down to the Arena early so we can take in everything.

Upon entering the Arena she was handed a "free mini hockey stick", and I'm thinking perfect if she thinks "free toys" are involved she'll want to come every time!

I got her a kids bag of popcorn, and 2 waters (One for her and one for me, since she leaves more than she takes most times she drinks out of a water bottle, if you know what I mean.) and headed for our seats early.

Sitting there she was marveled at the "two cars" on the ice and I informed here the were called "Zamboni's" to which she replied: "Za-Bambi's?" to which I replied: "Yes Za-bambi's".

Everything was going great, she was wearing her "leapfrog" kid headphones (http://shop.leapfrog.com/leapfrog/ca/en_CA/Headphones/productDetail/Leapster-Accessories/prod770007/ca_cat90012?selectedColor=&selectedSize=&navAction=jump&navCount=0&categoryNav=false) which fit her little ears perfectly, so that the noise doesn't hurt her ears. Eating popcorn and looking for "the puppy". (Harvey the Hound our teams mascot).

When all of a sudden the arena went dark and got really really loud.  Our daughter was marveled by everything she loved the lights, the colors and the giant TV.

When all of a sudden this happened:

The bursts of flames were too much and scared her!!  Instant hysterical tears, with bursts of "I want to go home!" "I want to go home!" appeared!

 I quickly sit her on my lap and try to settle her down.

This brings me to my first realization about my daughter.

Apparently my daughter is terrified of fire!!

Maybe it was "Bambi" or maybe it was "Lilo & Stitch" but flames now equal crazy hysterical tears.

Luckily for me I am always prepared and quick thinking lead me to plugging my iPhone into her headphones and putting on a movie!  This only slightly helped calm the tears.

After about 18 minutes (10 minutes of actual game time), the tears were finally gone. She was calm and actually started watching the game while looking up from her movie.

Then something happened....

The Flames scored and it started all over again!!

I was able to calm her down by the end of the period and she was able to enjoy watching the "puppy" walking on the ice during the intermission.  I took her to the potty (which I am happy to report where clean! Great job men who used the toilets that game), and to get her some soft serve chocolate ice cream before the 2nd period started in case the "flames" happened again when the hockey players arrived.

We arrive back to our seats 2 minutes into the second period, and she is enjoying "watching her movie" and eating ice cream, while every couple of minutes or so looking cautiously upwards towards where the "flames" appear.

Everything is going great, all the while I am hoping for a 1-0 score.

When it happened again....

The Flames scored!!!

Instant tears and "I want to go home!".  But this time I am ready.  There is still a 3/4 eaten ice cream in front of my daughter, and I inform her that we can't go until it's all eaten.

Which brings me to the second realization.

My daughter is immune to "brain freezes!!!"

Because that ice cream was eaten in 30 seconds and we were gone!!

(PS: Riding home my daughter asked why daddy's team was called the "flames".  I tried to pass on some knowledge, and started explaining about how the flames originally came from Atlanta and General Lee during the Civil War set fire to the city and that's how they got the name, and when the team was relocated to Calgary they kept the name. But I stopped myself part way through and told her... I'm not sure. But tonight I really wish we were called the Calgary "Butterflies" or "snowflakes".)

Recipe #7 My world Famous Crepe Recipe

Kelly's world famous Crepe recipe:

Recipe makes 6-8

What you need to make the crepes:

- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 cup of milk
- 1/2 cup of water
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 2 tablespoons butter (melted)
- Splash of pure vanilla

What you need for presentation:

- Icing sugar
- 100% pure maple syrup
- fresh fruit (strawberries, blueberries, banana's, raspberries, peaches whatever you like)
- Cool whip (low fat)

COOKING DIRECTIONS:

1) In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour and the eggs. Gradually add in the milk and water, stirring to combine.  Add the salt and butter; beat until smooth.

2) Heat a lightly oiled frying pan over medium/medium high heat.  Scoop the batter onto the frying pan (about 1/4 cup per crepe). Tilt the pan using a circular motion so that the batter coats the surface evenly.

3) Cook the crepe for about 1 minute 1/2 - 2 minutes, until the bottom is light brown (should almost look like the moon's face). Pick it up using the spatula (or use the "Father pancake flip" technique) and cook other side for about another minute.

4) Put cooked crepe on a plate, put desired fruit inside (I add some cool whip here also), and roll it up. Top with some more fruit, a dab of cool whip, drizzle with maple syrup and a pinch of icing sugar on top for presentation.

(It will take making these a couple of times to master them, but once you do they will be a family treat.) I make them for special occasions (mothers day, birthdays, family staying over).

Funniest thing I ever heard from a child

So this post is inspired by the fact that we now have a "Swear Jar" in our house.

So prior to a couple of weeks ago the funniest thing our daughter ever said were the following two things:

(yes I realize that they both involve "poop", and yes you can possibly chalk it up to the fact that it's a dad that is raising her.)

When my daughter was finally potty trained (see previous blog post on how that eventually happened) she was sitting on her Potty Chair (see photo below for the style) and I get her to call me when she is done.

                                       
She called me and I came to the bathroom and I saw my daughter jumping up and down with joy shouting "I pooped a "C"! I pooped a "C"!"

After looking into her potty I realized she was right, the poop had curled it self around the oval potty chair base making a perfect "C" shape. I was both proud of the fact she pooped on the potty by herself and that she recognized the letter "C".  (That's the work of the Preschool Prep videos for you)

Then a couple of weeks ago my daughter while running to the bathroom ran past our cat (Mia) who meowed, our daughter without missing a beat said "I can't pet you now Mia I have to go poop!"

Which brings me to the reason we have a swear jar in our house.

As a family we went on a trip to Canmore for some winter hiking.  We arrived at "Silver Tip Gold Course" and as we were getting out of the car, I asked my wife where our daughters gloves are, she didn't know so we both asked our daughter who replied: "Oh  "Sh*t" we forgot them!"

My wife and I both looked at each other and decided we needed a swear jar at home.  So we have one. Every bad word earns a dollar in the jar. (I would like to point out the worst word we say in front of our daughter was the Sh-word, but words like Stupid, Idiot and Crap all get $$ in the jar.)

Which brings me to the funniest thing I have ever heard children say:

I was working in an elementary school and doing the preschool class.  A group of 4 year olds were playing in the "fort" (which was just a table with a blanket over it) when I heard the following:

Boy 1: "My dad does the F-word!"

Boy 2: "My mom even does the F-word!"

Boy 3: "My dad does the F-word all the time!"

All kids together: "GROSS!"

I then asked the group to come out and talk to me.  All 3 boys did. I asked them what they were talking about.  None of them wanted to say.  I assured them that they won't get into trouble if they told the truth.

Eventually "Boy 1" told me that they were talking about the "F-word".

I asked them why they were talking about that word.

"Boy 2" pointed to "Boy 1" and said: "Because "boy 1" did the "F-word"!

I then had a huge sigh of relief, realizing that the "f-word" in this case was "Fart".  

Recipe #6 Easy Linguine Carbonara

Linguine Carbonara

Cooking time less than 30 minutes!!!

What you need:

- Linguine
- Green Onions
- Parmesan Cheese
- Bacon
- "Club House" Alfredo sauce in package
- Fresh ground pepper

What to do:

Step #1

Cook Pasta according to package

Step #2

Cook bacon according to directions

Step #3

While pasta is still cooking cook sauce according to directions

Step #4

Chop green onions really small along with cooked bacon.

Step #5

Drain cooked pasta and put some on each plate, add some green onions, bacon and a spoonful or more of the sauce per plate.  Grate some fresh Parmesan cheese on top and serve. Add some fresh ground pepper for taste.

Potty Training: Do's and Don'ts

I have a confession to make.

I don't like dogs.

Part of the reason is because I was bit by a couple of dogs when I was a kid.

So I guess I should amend the previous statement.

I am afraid of dogs.

But I know that without that fear of dogs, I would never own one.  The main reason being is picking up poop!  I know that if I had to clean up a dogs poop I would have to clean up my own vomit as well.

I have a very weak stomach.

So I hear people who know me say "Don't you own a cat? How does your cat's litter get changed?"

Answer: Yes I do own a cat and a really long pooper-scooper! If I could find longer ones I would. Sometimes for really bad litters I just dump the whole thing out and start fresh again.

Which brings me to today's blog post topic.

Potty Training.

This was by far the "milestone" I was least looking forward to. Our daughter was 2 so I started "training" her.

Another truth moment just to let you know where my head was at during this "training period":

When our daughter was a baby for some reason all her poops smelled like BBQ Chicken to me, I didn't eat BBQ Chicken for 8 months!!

But I digress.

After 6 months of trial and error and error and error and even more error (see below).  My wife not so nicely told me that this was ridiculous and that our daughter should be potty trained by now!!

So I did the guy thing.

For a whole week I made charts and notes of all the times she went pee and poo. Trying to time it.

By the way this is a potty training DON'T!

I then did some research, and discovered some amazing videos which helped (me) our daughter.

These videos are designed to reinforce to your child what you are trying to do; listen to their body and being a big kid.

Video Titles:

"Potty Power!"

"Go Potty Go" (still got the song from this one in my head)

"Potty Time"

"Potty Perfect"

"It's Potty Time"

and many many more.  Check out your local library for all the potty training movies and books you can get. I know you will find some which will help you and your child.

Watch potty movies with your child are Potty DO'S!!

With my new found enthusiasm from the videos I decided to put her on the potty chair with a book and a couple of toys, (me with my iPad beside her) and wait it out. 5 minutes passed. NOTHING. 10 minutes passed. NOTHING. 15 minutes passed. NOTHING. So I was getting bored and she was getting hungry so I took her off. 5 minutes later... PEE!

My take from this was 20 minutes is the key!

It isn't the key.  I'm an idiot.

Putting child on potty chair hoping to force pee...  is a potty DON'T.

So while I am making no progress and my wife is getting more and more frustrated with my progress, I decided to go back to the experts again. THE INTERNET!!

I went to BabyCenter.ca and read their potty training tips. (http://www.babycenter.ca/potty-traininng) I also went to the Mayo Clinic and read their advice: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/potty-training/CC00060. Then I went to Today's Parent and read what they had to say. (http://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/potty-training-toddlers) and after I was done I thought I had enough information to get my child potty trained.

Doing internet research and getting more information before or while you are trying are Potty DO'S.

So with my head full of all this new information,the only thing that really stuck out in my head was... kids don't like the wet sensation of pee.

So I had the brilliant idea of putting regular "big girl" panties UNDER her diaper.  Hoping that the wet sensation would cure my daughter of the need for diapers.

I don't think I even have to tell you this.  But this was a potty DON'T.

So I literally went back to the drawing board and decided to do the reward system.  Some people do M&M's, toys, stickers. stamps, cookies, anything that works.

I started with stamps: 1 for pee and 2 for poo.

Using a reward systems for potty training successes is a Potty DO.

So how did we eventually get out daughter potty trained?

Truth of the matter is it took both of us (My wife was off for a week at Christmas time) working together on potty training for a week, watching potty movies, giving stickers for every time she dropped even a drop of pee in the potty, and it was done.

So I guess when it comes to Potty training there are a lot of DO'S and a lot more DON'TS, just remember this: Do DO'S, don't do DON'TS.

Grossest thing my child has ever done (so far)

This blog post came from an incident at my daughters swimming, which lead to a discussion among us parents who saw it.

To give you an idea of some of the gross things my daughter has done, I include this photo. This is my daughter being goofy and sticking Penne Pasta in her nose and eating it afterwards. But I assure you this is not even close to the grossest thing she has ever done.

I will tell you about the incident first then I will tell you about the discussion which followed.

I am sitting in the viewing area at my local "Y" watching my daughter doing her swimming lessons, and I happen to look over to the lap pool and see an older child "drinking out of the gutter".

He was literally sucking up water out of the gutter every 10 seconds or so.

It was gross!

For those of you who don't know the gutter is the blue part in the image below.

I laughingly pointed out the child to the parent sitting beside me on my left, and that parent said: "Oh no. It's mine!" and lowered her head in shame.

To which I laughed hysterically.

I then comforted the parent and told them the grossest thing my daughter ever did.

My daughter when she was 10 months old was crawling on the floor, and unannounced to me had thrown up on our hardwood floor. I then heard a noise, so I investigated. What I discovered was my daughter "sucking up" and eating her throw up.

That by far is the grossest thing she has ever done (yet).

Then the parent sitting next to me on my right said: "Oh yeah!  I can beat that."

You see her two kids (ages 5 and 3) were playing in the rec room while the mom was making lunch. When the mom came in to let the kids know it was lunch time, she noticed that they were using "aqua pens". She then asked the kids where they got the water and they pointed to the bathroom.  "From the sink?" the mom said surprised. "No mom from the toilet!" the youngest said proudly.

We all agreed that that was now the grossest thing any of the kids had ever done.

Then a final parent told us her story, which won the grand prize of grossest thing ever.

You see her youngest child a girl, loves watching her older brother doing all of his "big kid things".  So when he brushes his teeth she watches.  When he brushes she pretends to brush, when he rinses his mouth out afterwards so does she.  One time the younger child decided she really needed to rinse her mouth, and actually filled a cup up with water from the toilet and rinse her mouth and spit it out.

Her Kids are 3 and 1 & 1/2 and the older kid is potty trained but doesn't always flush the toilet.

This particular time the toilet hadn't been flushed.

Think about these stories next time your child eats their boogers or dirt.

Recipe #5 Sesame Snap Chicken

Sesame Snap Chicken:
Pair this recipe with any one of the following sides: Steamed Vegetables, rice, mashed potatoes, salad, pasta, couscous, whatever you have that is healthy.

Recipes:

Sesame Snap Chicken

-         -  1 tbs soy sauce

-          - 1 tsp ginger powder

-          - 1 tsp garlic powder

-          - 2 tbsp dried or fresh cilantro (optional) 

      -1 to 2 sesame snaps per chicken breast

-    

Step #1 Place chicken in oven safe dish and pour soy sauce over chicken breasts and roll them in it to coat them.

Step #2 sprinkle with garlic and ginger (and cilantro if using) 

Step #3 Place 1 to 2 sesame snaps on top of each chicken breast (you can use more than 2 per chicken breast, but reminder that will add more calories to the meal) 

Step #4 Cook chicken to the "cooking chicken in the oven code" 

REMINDER OF THE CODE:

To Cook Chicken in the oven always follow this formula:

      1) Preheat oven to 400 degree

      2) Chicken in for 20 minutes at 400 degrees (set timer)

      3)  When timer rings reduce heat to 350 degrees and reset timer for 15 minutes.

       

   Moist chicken from the oven every time!!

Secret Sanity tips of a Stay-at-home dad

Now I may be a stay-at-home dad, but it doesn't mean that that is my only job.

I also work at a job which I am fortunate enough to do while at home, and I am writing "comic books" to hopefully be published.  (see my other blog of writing stuff here: http://myimaginationshome.blogspot.ca/)

So while it feels like at the end of the day that I give my daughter all 100% of me, the truth is I don't anymore.  She is older and individual play is a great thing for her, she is capable of getting her own toys out (and putting them away after), getting crafts and some snacks also.

So how am I able to juggle essentially two full time jobs PLUS be a full time everyday parent?

Here are some tips:

1) STICKERS!!

It's amazing how much free time for you (for cleaning, reading, chilling, working or just breathing) can be attained just by giving your toddler (2-5 year old) stickers and some pieces of paper or even an old toy destined for the trash.

TIP #1 Peel off the back part before you give your child the sheet of stickers so that they can easily take them off themselves.

TIP #2 Be prepared for a mess.  If you are going to give your child stickers and semi-supervision messes occur.

           Stickers with backing (BAD)                               Stickers without backing (GOOD!)

             

2) WATER COLOR PAINTS!!

Cheap water color paints and non detailed large imaged coloring pictures are amazing for an hour or two of fun.

TIP #1 Get cheap ones at the loonie store. More expensive water color paints are NOT better they are the exact same thing.

TIP #2 See tip number two above.

3) 1 NEW TOY!!

One new toy makes ALL other toys instantly new.  It's amazing.

TIP #1 A lot of toys comes in packs of 3 or more toys, don't give all of them in the package to your child at once, spread them out over time.

TIP #2 It doesn't have to be expensive or even "new" it just something they haven't had before.

4) CRAYOLA MESS-FREE 'COLOR WONDER' MARKERS AND PAPER

http://www2.crayola.com/products/splash/color_wonder/

We discovered these amazing products a couple years ago, and they have been a staple in our daughters routine ever since. 

They are more expensive, but they are perfect for travelling, long road trips, airplane flights, hotel stays and getting that extra 30-40 minutes of sleeping done in the morning (our daughter has some in her room). They only make marks on the special paper. You don't have to worry about marker getting anywhere!!  

TIP #1 get child to pick 1 picture and rip out that page for them to color, that way they aren't taking any other "daddy (or mommy) needs you to be busy by yourself for 10 minutes" moments. When that page is all done get them to pick another and rip out.  

TIP #2 Cool part about the paper is that the whole picture gets colored because things "appear" all over the page. (get child to hold the picture to the light to see what things are hidden in the picture.

5) DIGITAL CLOCKS!!!

After my daughter learned her numbers. Thanks to preschool prep movie 'Meet the Numbers' (http://www.preschoolprepco.com/). I had an epiphany.  I told her what time she should get up and what time she should wake mommy and daddy up at. 

I took a digital clock and covered up the last two digits, so that only the first two digits showed.

I told my daughter that she can "get up" in the morning only after she sees a 7.  After she sees a 7 she can then get out of bed and play quietly in her room, after she sees an 8 she can then ask for her "movie" (old iPhone with educational shows on it) at which point I get up and go for my shower (or sleep a little longer). 

TIP #1 I just used a sticky note which I taped down. 

TIP #2 Change weekend times to 8 and 9 respectively. 

Enjoy these tips and if you have any of your own please let me know. I've got to write 2 more comic books!!

Recipe #4 Ribs in Oven

What you need:

- ribs (package trim excess fat off of them before cooking) 

- spices (see rib rub for spices) works great on the BBQ also but cooking time is different. 

- a side I prefer Caesar salad ( using a low fat Caesar salad kit and romaine lettuce)  

Rub for Ribs (everything in TableSpoon)

- 2 1/2 Chili Powder

- 2 Cumin

- 1 Paprika

- 1 Brown Sugar

- 1/2 Ground Pepper

- 1/4 Cayenne Pepper

- 1/2 Garlic

mix all ingredients together 

Step 1) trim off all excess fat from the ribs

Step 2) Rub spice rub on both sides of Ribs

Step 3) Set oven to 300 Degrees

Step 4) Place ribs right on rack (middle height), with a pan under to catch drippings

Step 5) Set timer to cook 1 hour turning every 20 minutes or so

Step 6) check to see if done.

After you are done and oven has cooled down, clean off the rack as it will have Rib drippings stuck on it. 

My daughters friends or really my Friends with kids?

Her Friends of my Friends with Kids?

I have come to the realization that I pick my child's friends for her.

Does she not go off onto the playground by herself?

Yes.

Does she not form play groups with other kids she never knew before that day?

Yes.

Does she not interact and have fun with new people all the time?

Yes.

So how do I control her friends I hear you ask yourself?

Because she can't drive, so I control the play dates!

I decide who we see on social times, and most often I decide by which parents I wouldn't mind spending 1-2 hours with.  My daughter doesn't care which child she sees, preferably a girl of course but other than that she could care less.

So really I am deciding her 'friends' for her.

I have actually been at a park with my daughter, seen another person there with a similarly aged child and talked to that parent (99% of the time a mom) while our interacted at the park.

Our children were at the park for about 30 minutes, and in that time her son threw rocks at my daughter, yelled at her because he wanted to go down the slide first and the mom said "(insert spoiled boys name here) if you do that one more time we are leaving." four times!

At the end after realizing our houses were pretty close to each other she says "we should have a play-date with the kids some time".  To which I replied: "I'll be honest with you, that's not going to happen."

The truth of the matter is, that I have no problem killing 30 minutes talking small talk with another parent, it doesn't mean that our kids are going to be best friends for life now.

Am I alone here?

Do any of you not choose to do play dates with your child's peers if you find the conversation less than stimulating?  Or do you go in feet first knowing that your child is having fun for an hour while that same hour feels like 3 hours to you?

I have taken a stand, choosing like minded adult friends with kids who stimulate my child, as opposed to like minded kids whose adults don't stimulate me.

Oh, and by the way.

If you're wondering why we haven't done a play date in a while its' because I've been busy.

Really that's it.

Just busy.